Your Soul Will Burn
by Aeowyn Exitus
Summary: Leliana knows too well the pain of betrayal, but as a new enemy threatens to plunge the world into darkness, she is forced to confront a past she'd rather forget and choose whether to finally forgive or if her anger and hatred consume her. (F!Mahariel/Leliana) (F!Hawke/Leliana) (M!Trevelyan/Josephine)
1. Chapter 1

**A.N.** Corrected some things in this first chapter. Also, as I was writing further, I noticed that instead of Trev, it seems Leliana and Hawke had a thing going. So I decided to run with that

4/16/2016 - more corrections

Dedicated to - the dirt and sand

Note: Owned by Bioware

I stared at the wall. It never changed—the same white plaster that numbed the mind. Life blurred, bouncing from one event to another without any form or reprieve. My shoulders slumped as a familiar ache sunk into my muscles. Was it too much to ask for an afternoon of solid rest? I slammed my palms on the oaken tabletop to break out of this trap of complacency, and my fingers throbbed from the impact. _I complain of exhaustion while the world shatters from within? Foolish!_

I would _not_ stand idle while the world burned.

"Sister Nightingale, here are the latest reports." An agent's hesitant voice shook me from my musings, and my eyes snapped to him.

"Place them on top of the others." I turned away in dismissal, and the man scrambled away. After all, who would want to be close to the woman who courted death?

"Leliana." Aidan's voice drifted from the hallway.

"Yes, Inquisitor?"

He leaned against the doorway, brows raised. "Do you have further intelligence on the grey wardens?"

I glanced at him, absently noticing how his emerald green eyes shifted with the lighting in the room. When the moment was right, hues of blue lit his pupils. I glanced away. My voice was trance-like. "No. By all account, they have vanished."

"Surely, the entire order—"

"My agents have found no trace of them." Corypheus had invaded Haven with an arch-demon by his side, and we barely escaped the destruction rained upon the city. Fearful of another blight, agents had been sent to the First Warden at Weisshaupt Fortress. Silence was their reply. My eyes narrowed. "It's suspicious that they would disappear without a trace."

Confusion flushed his cheeks. "Well, when I head out to Crestwood, we may find our answers."

"Perhaps," I said, jotting a note within the documents piling high on the desk, "but I advise caution. We do not know what their intentions are."

"Well, there is Hawke. She's going to escort me to her friend. At least, we'll get to the bottom of this dilemma." He pinched the bridge of his nose. Suddenly, he slapped his head with the palm of his hand. "Wait! Didn't you know the hero of Fereldan?"

Fire and ice warred within my chest, battering what was left of my heart in an unrelenting assault. My hands began trembling, and it took all my willpower to straighten each finger out. I would not appear weak. "Yes. I did."

He continued, oblivious to my internal battle. "Were you two close? Surely you could approach her and—"

"Close? I think not." I abruptly cut him off. "I have seen the _hero's_ true colors."

Aidan's eyes widened. "I don't understand?"

"Lyna Mahariel took that which I held most dear and destroyed it." The warden's jet black hair and dark eyes loomed in my mind as they always did. The pleas and cries still rang in my memory… the way I begged her not to destroy something that meant so much to me. "She took the ashes of blessed Andastre and mingled a corrupted dragon's blood onto them." More memories taunted me, slamming into me as if they were a tidal wave that crashed against a rocky shore. I couldn't block them, they flooded my mind with images of her. "I fought against her plan for… the ashes. She stabbed me in the back and left me for dead."

"But, you live… and the ashes were never corrupted!"

"I know! I don't know what happened." Trevelyan studied me for a second, and I bit my lip. _Who am I kidding._ _"_ Maybe, she never intended to corrupt the ashes all along. Either way, she killed me." My words shot out in rapid succession. "I know I died. I did die. The Maker saved me, brought me back to life." Memories of my last night with Lyna invaded me. I remembered the way I longed for her lips, the way my skin hummed under her touch, those whispered promises by the campfire that I foolishly believed, and the way my pulse raced whenever her lips formed a soft smile for me alone. I blinked. It was over now. "She… she did not check if I still breathed. She abandoned me, left me to rot in those empty ruins." My lips trembled, but I masked my emotions. I could not appear weak. "You would do well to remain cautious." I clasped a paper in my fingers, scanning the contents. "The wardens bring only the blight."

"Well, there is the matter of an archdemon…" Aidan's eyebrows drew together and he broke eye contact, then he pushed away from the doorframe.

I glance at him, my chin held high. "The agents I have sent were never heard from again, nor have their order tried to communicate with us. In addition, Hawke herself said there were issues within their ranks. Why all this secrecy?"

"I can't say. This whole situation leaves me uneasy, especially the threat of a blight looming over us. I just thought perhaps if you talked to the hero…"

My mouth set in a grim line, jaw tense. "Lyna will just as soon spit you out if she finds no use for you." Marjolaine always said love was a lie. She was right in some things. Love was a lie… love was just a way to manipulate and confuse a poor unsuspecting soul. It made you vulnerable. When someone is vulnerable, they can be controlled. "I advise you not to trust this contact as the behavior of the wardens as a whole is suspicious." I sat up straighter and frowned. "This Corypheus is able to control this high dragon somehow. Surely, our mages can discover his secret?"

"Maybe." He said. "I shall take your advice into consideration."

I dipped my head. "Is there anything else, Inquisitor?"

He paused, fingers on his chin, looking as if he were contemplating a puzzle. "Yes." He hesitated as if terrified a bear would charge out of the bushes, but then a fierce expression formed on his face. "Leli, not everyone is like her. Please, remember that."

My fingers tensed around the paper I held in my hands, almost ripping the sheet. "Maybe not. But, she has taught me one thing. Trust is precious and valuable. Only the foolish trust so readily. Never trust easily, Aidan. Remember, a snake can wear the disguise of something beautiful, and the hero was the most beautiful serpent of all."

Trust could be a weakness, and it made one vulnerable. Never again would I follow the sweet song of infatuation. Never again would I be vulnerable.

"I am sorry she betrayed you. She isn't worth it... don't give up, Leliana. You survived in spite of what she did."

I bit my lip. "I never gave up, I just... I am not that trusting fool I once was. Do not make the same mistake I did, Aidan. "

Lyna's face ruled my thoughts once again, and I blinked. If only I could kill _her_ inside my mind, then maybe, her name would stop mocking me when I sought the gentle slumber of sleep. If I could have just one day where she did not invade my dreams.

Love once sang its melody in my ear, and I drowned as it suffocated me until only this stone shell remained. _Lyna Maherial, may you know my pain._


	2. Chapter 2

_A/N: Well I decided to keep updating this. SilentStormSociety, I hear and obey :P_

* * *

The Inquisitor's footsteps reverberated through the walls and floors as he decended down the stairway, leaving me alone once more. _Alone except for the ravens_. As if reading my thoughts, numerous caws rang throughout the spacious area mixed with the sound of flapping wings.

I willed thoughts of Lyna away, gritting my teeth as I forced myself to read through the reports. The world darkened, and sunlight from the late afternoon spilled through a window, casting shadows into the room. With my elbow on my desk, I made a fist and rested my cheek on it. I glanced at the tip of a mountain of reports piled on my desk and stifled a yawn. No leads. No traces. Nothing. The wardens had simply vanished, leaving no hints to their whereabouts.

Memories of Haven shot through me, and my legs trembled as they did the day the archdemon had stormed the stronghold. My heart had clenched tight at the roar of massive wings as they buffeted the small wooden buildings and hastily constructed cloth pavilions that surrounded the temple with projectiles of flames. Was there to be another blight? No one in my network had reported any darkspawn activity, yet, here was this massive beast invading the sky with darkness and fire….

The beast's screech of rage merged with the warcries from an invading mob of men crashing into the stronghold, and Haven shuddered. On closer inspection, my heart stopped in my chest. Why would templars fight _with_ an archdemon?

In the end, Aidan Trevelyan strode out to meet that challenge. Armor blazing emerald and fiery orange, his coat whipping about him, he set a stomping pace as though he were the Maker charging another god.

The frigid air bit into my skin and I shivered as my mind let go of those ominous recollections, but still a sense of foreboding tugged at me. _An archdemon and the wardens are gone_. Gone like an alluring nightmare that still persisted; the type that lingered in the corner of every thought.

I was a fool. How could I believe we had no use for the wardens when the need for them was desperate? Throughout history, blights had ravaged the land, and the armies of kings succumbed to the overwhelming numbers of the darkspawn. When it seemed certain that the world would fall to darkness, the wardens emerged and they, alone, had the ability to end the blight by striking a mortal blow into an archdemon.

A twinge of guilt hit me. My need for control clouded my judgment; the fact that my spies did not discover the existence of this warden unsettled me. I behaved as Loghain had during the last blight, stubborn and unyielding. My anguish over Lyna merely compounded the issue. Advising Aidan to avoid meeting Hawke's contact was foolish and irresponsible. I needed to be better than this.

I needed to talk to Aidan… tell him I was wrong. Tell him…

From behind me, a throat cleared, ripping me from my musings. "Well, isn't this the picture of dark and dismal!"

I would know that voice anywhere. Marian Hawke. After all these years, her deep voice still sent my pulse racing; each word sent a jolt of lightning through my veins. I felt her eyes at the back of my head, but I refused to turn towards her, afraid of what I would see.

I would not let her know she affected me.

"The hour is getting late, yes? I believe when the evening comes, the room grows dark." A smirked touched my lips. I kept my gaze on the white parchment before me, searching for anything to occupy my concentration. There was no time for distractions.

"Ah, well you see, there exist this _wonderful_ thing called sunlight which I have heard you retreat from."

"Is there something you need? As you can see, I am busy here." With a shrug of dismissal, I flipped a page, scanning the contents. _Nothing_! No word on why the wardens were gone. Groaning, I rubbed my temples with my knuckles. First, Lyna's name unraveled me. Now, Hawke's presence distracted me. No matter how hard I tried, I could not concentrate on my reports. Did Lyna have anything to do with the disappearances? I studied Hawke for a few seconds. Maker, my head ached. Everything ached.

Long, thin fingers pressed down against my shoulder, and my jaw clenched. Marian's hands massaged my neck and scalp and the tension lessened, but irritation with myself swelled in my chest. _Am I so weak that I allow her to affect me so_? A low moan escaped my lips, and I clamped my mouth shut. Hawke's husky chuckle stirred the hairs on my neck. I closed my eyes tightly and shifted, but Hawke's hands kept me in place. The heat building between our bodies rippled outward from where she touched me and shot along every nerve ending. _This_ was bad and _needed_ to stop.

There were only three women who overwhelmed me to the point I lost control. Marian Hawke was one of them. I had… fell for her in Lothering. Her dark raven-black hair. That golden skin that the sun accentuated… so beautiful. Those high cheekbones and piercing blue eyes that reminded me of the sky captivated me. The blight ended all such hopes for a relationship with her. From time to time, thoughts of her invaded my mind. Even now, I wanted nothing more than to lean my head back against her chest.

"Leli, just relax. You need a break—just this once."

I whirled, and jerked my arm out of her grasp, sliding away from the desk. _I will not be vulnerable again._ "As always, I enjoy our visits, Hawke," I said, emphasizing the generic usage of her last name, ending the intimacy. "but, as you see, I must get back to my duties. People rely on me."

I glanced out the window. The mountains around Skyhold crested with snow, and the landscape spanned across the border. It was beautiful. Smoke billowed up from the buildings below, climbing towards the sky. I inhaled the sweet aroma of a camp fire along with chimney smoke.

Hawke started to move forward but halted. "I see." She turned and made her way to the door. "I will be in the tavern if you wish to speak with me."

I sat in my chair with a shrug of dismissal. I will not be weak. Then, I remembered that she knew this warden Aidan was to contact. Again, I had allowed my emotions overrun me. "Hawke, wait!"

She hesitated but did not turn. "What is it, _Sister Nightingale_." _Ouch_. I deserved that, and guilt boiled in my stomach. She did not deserve to be treated so coldly, but I could not afford any diversions to my current task.

"I… how is it the _friend_ you take the Inquisitor to meet is not with the others of their order?"

Hawke's voice lowered. "She said that there was some sort of corruption in the ranks, and she… escaped before anything could happen to her."

"I see. Corruption from what? What was she doing? How is she not with the others of her order? Who is _she_?"

"Have your _spies_ not figured that out?"

I bristled. "Well, I have leads… rumors. That is all."

"Ah, so your great network of—"

"Marian!"

"Fine. She said that she was researching if Corypheus could survive fatal wounds the same way an archdemon can."

I poised a finger under my chin. "Interesting." Corypheus seemed to have some type of hold on the archdemon. What if he could control more than one? The world would... burn. Bile suddenly rose in my throat, and my heart hammered in my chest.

"She said that suddenly all the wardens began hearing their calling just like… well, they began to hear their calling." Her voice trailed off in a low tone, almost too soft for my keen ears.

"Just like what?"

"Corypheus had been imprisoned by the wardens…"

"Yes… I know that." My lips pressed together tightly. I did not mean to be impatient, but this was the most I have heard in awhile. "Go on?"

"Well, the wardens who were assigned to guard him went mad. Only one remained... sane. The rest of them heard their calling."

With hunched shoulders, I slumped in my chair. The horrible implications danced in my mind, and a hammer seemed to pound on my chest. I stopped breathing. Had Lyna heard her calling? Would she die alone in the dark? Then, like a rush of ice water splattering my face, I remembered Lyna's treachery. Why should I care about Lyna?

If all the warden surrendered to their calling, was there any hope? Did they know about the archdemon? Even if some wardens remained, could Corypheus even be killed? Tension stiffened my posture and my jaw tightened. So many thoughts and emotions warred in my head until Marian's gentle fingers covered my hand and pulled me back to reality.

"Leliana, it will be okay." I snapped my eyes to the ocean, its calm waves carrying me, pouring over me. I closed my eyes and relaxed my shoulders. I forced myself to breathe at a normal rate.

"Thank you, Marian," I said, glancing at our fingers intertwining.

"Anytime, Leli. I… I should take my leave."

I smiled and inclined my head. I watched her retreat until her footsteps grew distant.

Even after my ill advice, I knew a group would depart in the morning, including Hawke and the Inquisitor, to meet this contact. Still I should talk to Aidan… say something to him. "Maker, please protect your servants," I whispered.

My head snapped to the entrance. Hawke had not disclosed the name of this warden.


	3. Chapter 3

_A.N. 5/23/2016- Minor fixes_

* * *

Josephine Montilyet burst through the door. She ripped through the room like a blast of wind, an unstoppable whirl of ruffled silk and ebony hair. "Leliana, must you _always_ resort to violence?" Her hands clenched into fists and rested at her hips. "Surely, there is another way."

A thief had been caught with his hands deep in the coffers of a merchant within Skyhold. We could not afford to be complacent, sitting back while the unsavory roamed the streets. Action must be taken.

I sighed, turning away from the stack of papers that formed a permanent fixture upon my desk. "Josie, hello to you as well." I narrowed my eyes. "He was caught stealing. We _must_ make an example of him." The muscles in my neck and along my jaw tightened. "If we do not act, conditions will worsen, no?"

"By cutting off his hand, Leliana? How is that even… that is too extreme!"

"We are at war! You do remember this, yes?" I asked.

"That does not make it right to… to… disfigure a child!"

"He is not a child. He is fifteen."

Josephine froze for a few seconds before she tilted her head and shot an incredulous stare at me. Her mouth opened and then shut three times. A part of me appreciated the irony in her behavior—the diplomat at a loss of words. _How shocking_. The silence stretched for a moment before she blurted, "Leliana, this is… this is too much! You can't possibly think this is the way to teach him a lesson! It is—"

"This is _not_ only about teaching him a lesson," I said abruptly. "It is about being proactive. Otherwise, we will be fighting two wars." I took in a calming breath then slowly released it. _Why can't she understand?_ "This war with Corypheus, and a war inside our own walls."

"A war? Thievery is hardly a war!" She sputtered, her thin fingers pressing against her dark hairline. "This is _not_ the way, Leliana… it would cause the people to resent us! Worse, losing a hand would waste valuable resources!"

I did not know whether to smirk or gape at her. _Resources_? Leave it to Josephine to justify her ideas with a productivity argument. "Then what do you suggest?"

Josephine fingered her lower jaw, and stepped towards the window, glancing outside. Apparently, there was something interesting among the hastily repaired buildings and grounds because her gaze remained riveted. She clasped her hands together and turned towards me. "We need to do something that would persuade him to avoid these uncivilized ventures."

"Exactly," I said, rubbing around my ear. "Acting in a swift and merciless manner would assure that people would think twice before participating in these _uncivilized ventures_."

"Leliana." Josephine sighed, already accustomed to dealing with my pragmatic solutions for most complications. "Efficient as that may be, it would create an even bigger dilemma. We want full support behind the inquisition. Your solution would gain us no allies." Her brows furrowed. "So… the punishment must meet the crime. This is the first crime, so we must exact a penalty to act as a deterrence. Perhaps, we release him into the service of the people he robbed. Resources would not be wasted."

 _Resources again_. "And what is to stop him from committing the same crime while he is released in the shopkeeper's service?"

"The next offense would be banishment."

I raised my eyebrows. "And you say my method is harsh."

Josephine lifted her chin. "While it is true that I don't condone violence, I do know when certain penalties are warranted. My method is not… barbaric."

I inclined my head. "Fine. I will tell my people to handle the situation more delicately."

"Delicately meaning no one dies or gets dismembered, Leliana…"

"Of course."

Josephine stared at me with narrowed eyes. I glanced away, my attention drawn to a narrow stream of sunlight, filtering in from the window. It illuminated my desk in gentle hues, contrasting sharply against the choked light of the wall sconces, which did nothing but lengthen the shadows. I had no time for this. Seconds passed like the sands trickling out an hour glass, and I felt like I accomplished nothing. My thoughts wandered to the reports that had ensnared my mind for the past month, and a cold unease slithered down my spine; the significance of the warden's disappearance settled in the pit of my stomach like molten iron.

"Leliana, when did you last take a break?"

"The other day." I shrugged.

Her lips quirked downward. "You must take time for yourself. You can't go on like this."

"I assure you, I am more than capable." I shrugged. Some things were greater than ourselves. "The Inquisitor could be walking into a trap. Hawke did not give many details, and yet Trevelyan trusted her enough to jeopardize everything."

Aidan Trevelyan had charged into the unknown a week ago, and I still remained in the dark about any potential threats. The world could pay the price of my failure. Hawke, herself, only knew that there was corruption in the warden's ranks. She claimed her contact was reliable and trustworthy, but what if Hawke's _friend_ was compromised?

"Don't you think Aidan is well able to take care of himself?" She said in a soft voice. I did not miss the dreamy glint in Josephine's eyes nor the worry.

 _Nor the way she uses his first name._

"That may be true, but we must keep our eyes open." My forehead wrinkled as I scanned the contents inside one of the reports, and my pulse jumped. _So, Bethany Hawke had been sighted in the Hinterlands a week ago._ Josephine caught something in my expression and raised an eyebrow, knowing I had uncovered something. I shook my head and turned my attention outside, focusing on the thick blanket of snow that coated the ground as I regained control of my emotions. I tilted my head and kept my voice even. My secrets would remain guarded. "We know nothing about this person our associates are to meet."

So, Bethany Hawke had been sighted. The corners of my mouth drooped as I thought of the sweet girl I once knew. Bethany, Marian, and the rest of their family had escaped the darkspawn that consumed Lothering during the last blight and fled to Kirkwall. Two years later, Bethany joined Marian, Varric Tethras and a team of dwarves on a venture that would take them into the deep roads. The endeavor was not without risks, and the cost was too high. The sisters had found enough riches to move out of their dilapidated shack in low town, but Bethany paid the price. The taint infected her after fighting countless waves of darkspawn, and somehow, a group of wardens saved her on the condition she became one of them. What choice did the poor girl have?

Josephine glanced at me and then leaned closer. Oh, I did not like the look on her face.

"You stay trapped up here for days. I wonder, do you even remember what the sun looks like?" She asked.

"Sarcasm does not become you," I said, forming a teasing smile on my lips. If I resorted to humor, perhaps she would leave me to my research. She pressed her full lips tightly, one hand resting on her hip. I should have known better. Once Josephine's mind latched onto some train of thought, it refused to release it. I folded my arms across my chest. "This is unavoidable. I must complete my work."

Her big honey colored eyes gazed into mine. "From what I understand, you never leave this place." She glanced around, wrinkling her nose. "It's so dark and the air is suffocating. You look exhausted, my friend."

We stared at each other until my shoulders sagged. She tilted her jet black hair, and then her mouth curved upward, the outer corner of her eyes crinkling. I cringed, preparing myself for whatever scheme her brain had concocted.

"We can go to the courtyard, take a breath of fresh air!" She bent, taking my hand. "Come, Leliana! Just for half an hour."

I knew I would not get anything done unless I agreed to go, and I stood. "Fine," I said, squaring my shoulders in resignation. "But only for thirty minutes."

###

The courtyard buzzed with the activity of merchants peddling their wares and groups of soldiers sparring in the training grounds—a typical day in Skyhold. The clang of swords clashing resonated the area, and the scent of timber wafted in the air. The fortress was already a huge improvement from the ruins I first set my eyes on. Someone's shoulder brushed against mine, and I tensed out of habit.

"Excuse me," I said, moving around a dark haired man.

He froze, his eyes widening. All at once, words tumbled out of his lips. "I'm sorry... I...ah needed... Parden me, Sister."

I stepped to the side and he all but raced away. "One would think people would make use of the legs the Maker blessed them with," I said, shaking my head.

This always happened. Anytime I left the confines of my office, people scampered around me like deer running from one of the Dalish hunters.

"Well if you stopped looking at people the way you do…" Josephine trailed off, and a twinkle of amusement sparkled in her eyes.

"Look at them like what?" I asked, although I knew exactly what she referred to.

"Like you are a wolf and they are the latest snack." She chuckled. "And that hood, Leliana…"

"I must present a certain image."

Josephine exhaled a disapproving breath. "Oh, Leliana." She resumed our walk and then stopped in her tracks, the thick, golden chain of her necklace thumping against her chest. How could she even wear that with her thin frame? She spread her fingers in a fan across her breastbone, delicately rubbing the red pendant. "Oh, I think I forgot how to breathe."

I turned in the direction that she faced. The afternoon sun reflected off Cullen's bare chest as he rounded off against another man. His muscles bunched under his golden skin as his grip tightened around the practice sword he bore. Tiny beads of sweat rolled down his forehead, dripping off his chin.

Cassandra stood on the side, leaning against the wall. The seeker stared, eyes fixated on Cullen's every move.

 _Maker, the seeker seems to want to eat him up!_

I glanced at Cassandra and raised an eyebrow, my lips quirking in amusement. "Well, what have we here?"

"A perfect specimen of a man…" Josephine said, gawking at the spectacle.

I grinned. If Trevelyan stood in Cullen's place and faced off this other warrior, my poor friend would have a heart attack. Well, Josephine would most likely faint.

"I mean," I said, "look at our captivated seeker."

Josephine glanced at Cassandra and a flash of humor crossed her face. "Ah, yes, as usual, Cassandra watches our handsome commander like a hawk."

Every afternoon, Cassandra just happened to show up when Cullen trained his troops or practice his forms. The seeker gazed upon Cullen with darkened eyes, and I had to wonder what went through her mind.

What naughty thoughts took dominance?

"Yes, I dare say our seeker has quite an interest," I said, biting my lip.

We made our way to Cassandra, who stared at the match with such intensity that she missed our presence. I shook my head and walked next to her. The poor woman had it bad. I did not know whether to feel sorry for her or applaud this new development. Cassandra, our brooding, and driven friend had eyes for someone.

 _No wonder she did not make a fuss about being left behind while the Inquisitor went to Crestwood._

"Cassandra," I said.

She spun, and frowned when she caught the teasing grin that formed on my lips. She narrowed her eyes before she turned away. The muscles in her forehead constricted, and I knew Cassandra well enough to know that this was when she was the most unnerved.

"Leliana," she said curtly.

"What brings you out here?" I asked, innocence coloring every word.

"I am… practicing, and studying different combat techniques." She said, stumbling over her words. "As I always do."

My grin grew wider. "Oh, really? Yes, I do notice you always seem to come out here when certain people practice."

Pink colored Cassandra's cheeks. "I am here to watch the drills." Her facial muscles tensed. "Is there something you need?"

"Oh, no, just passing the time."

A grunt-like sound discharged from her open mouth. "Well, I am sure you can find better entertainment at the tavern."

"Oh, I do believe we would much rather stay here," Josephine said.

"I don't—" Cassandra's mouth poured out a flood of words. "—I just thought your time would be better spent elsewhere."

"Oh, Josephine, let's leave the seeker to her… gawking."

"Gawking! I am not—" Cassandra glared at me and then stiffened.

Cullen stood before us, running his hands through sweat drenched hair. "Hello, ladies." He said, a smirk on his face. He became silent and tilted his head closer with a sideways glance. "What brings you three out here?"

"Oh, just passing the time," I said, laughing inwardly at Cassandra's wide-eyed glance. "I had to speak with our seeker, and, as usual, she is out here."

"Oh?" Cullen lifted an eyebrow and smirked at the seeker. Cassandra's nerves visibly ruffled. This was… beautiful.

"I was studying your forms and technique for any weakness that—" Cassandra's hands grabbed at her shirt sleeve.

"I can guarantee you my technique is very precise." His voice deepened, and the Seeker's mouth parted. "I would be happy to share it with you."

"Oh, Maker have mercy on us," Cassandra mumbled, backing away."I... yes, I would love to duel you...to better... to learn what you have to offer. It would beat attacking the practice dummies."

 _Poor Cassandra._

I watched as the Seeker made her escape, heading towards the barracks. I turned my gaze on Cullen. "Thought I would take a break…"

"Ah, yes. It is a good day for it." He said, inclining his head.

 _A break_.

I had been wasting too much time out here and needed to get back. My heart sped up, and I glanced back towards the stairs.

"Leliana, it hasn't been thirty minutes," Josephine said, admonishment slicing through her words.

"I know, but I must get back."

I glanced once more at Cassandra, holding back a chuckle and turned to look up towards my small corner of the world. A hand yanked at my arm. "Leliana…"

I sighed. "Fine."

Josephine began walking towards the tavern and I trailed after her, my eyes darting towards the rookery and the investigation waiting for me. I would uncover whatever plot the wardens had devised—it was only a matter of time.

Yet, none of us had time to spare.

* * *

Here is a filler chapter to kind of get a break from the angst a lil. Also, SilentStormSociety has been on me to get this out. I will probably edit it up again. Speaking of which, I have fixed some issues in chapter 1 and 2. Both chapters are modified. Y'all should read them over if you want.


	4. Chapter 4

Another cold day—another day of awaiting news of the inquisitor's meeting with Hawke's informant. I shivered. The cold wind always bit into winter's relentless months, sweeping Skyhold up into a swirl of white. White like the nebulous clouds that loomed over this fortress—this place I made my home. Home. That ever-present yearning for a place to belong. Wasn't home where one lay their head down each night and greeted the early dawn? I did not know anymore. Loneliness choked like a noose that left me dangling with nothing firm beneath my feet. No one truly wanted me in this new world of the Inquisition; the people were wary of me. The Spymaster. The woman shrouded in shadow. What was my purpose? Why was I in Skyhold if not to follow the will of the Maker? _A Maker that abandoned us all_. But, it didn't matter really—nothing mattered.

"Sister Nightingale?"

I glanced over my shoulder and spotted one of the scouts, Tavin, standing in the doorway leading into the rookery. Unruly blond hair fell over his eyes, covering a face that had not yet fled youth. I could tell by his strained expression and rigid stance that he did not wish to be here, and normally, I would have been gladdened by the fact that he was terrified to be in my presence. A brief pang squeezed my heart, a rare and sudden ache. I blinked as if waking from a nightmare. What happened to me? When had my drive to inspire turned into this need to strike terror and dread in those around me? Where was the vibrant woman who once danced in the twilight and stole the hearts of many? When had music ceased to flow from my lips?

A sardonic chuckle resounded inside my head, the voice of the woman who once filled my world—Marjolaine. _That young girl is dead, Leliana._

My lips tightened. This type of yearning was a weakness, and I could not afford to be weak.

"Yes?" I asked, my voice sharper than I intended.

He flinched. "The… the Seeker requested to meet with you."

I gazed at the scout a moment, and he shifted from one foot to next, avoiding my eyes. _Oh, for Maker's sake!_ "Where?" I asked.

"She was heading to her quarters when she relayed the message."

"I see. Thank you."

He bolted and leapt down the stairs, the echo of each step growing distant. Inwardly, I rolled my eyes. This was getting ridiculous. I was not _that_ scary. Then again, people feared me because I did what was needed. There were those who saw my actions as unconscionable, and while my deeds haunted my dreams and condemned me, I understood that my actions were necessary. Sometimes we must sacrifice the few for the many.

I rubbed the outer edge of my left eye, and made my way to the stairs—Cassandra did not enjoy being kept waiting. I wondered if a two-year-old would show more patience and restraint than our fearless Seeker. With a whimsical smile, I strolled _unhurriedly_ to the barracks where she waited.

The door was cracked open when I arrived at her quarters. Cassandra sat on the bed, a strange expression on her face. Her usual sharp features softened as her fingers ran down the edges of a box wrapped in navy blue paper. Her gaze was fixated on this _gift_ , and a gentle smile played on her lips. _So what has caused the Seeker to act so out of character?_ I raised a brow when I noticed a red rose laying on the thick blankets.

"And what is this?" I asked.

Cassandra jerked in response to my voice. She quickly shoved the box to the side, but her hand lingered on the its surface. _Interesting_.

Her face flushed pink. "What is what?"

I stretched my lips in a teasing smile, pointing my chin towards the box. "Well, this item that you seem to be caressing."

"I am not… I mean it was already here." Her words tripped over themselves. "I mean when I arrived. It was here and—"

"Arrived?" I interrupted, smirking. "Is it not still dawn? So, where is it that you were arriving from? Working out some tension with our Commander?"

Cassandra blinked. Her dark head swung left to right several times before she blurted, "I… I was not—"

"It would seem you and our dear commander have become very familiar with each other."

Her eyes widened, and crimson splotches sprouted on her neck. "That has nothing to do with…" The poor woman stumbled over her words, and her voice rose in pitch. "I have just left the training grounds."

"Oh? And which training grounds—"

"I did not ask you here to discuss the Commander," she snapped. "I wanted to discuss the other Seekers. We have not heard or learned the whereabouts of Lord Seeker Lucius?"

My mouth set in a grim line, my jaw tense. Lord Seeker Lucius had abandoned Val Royeaux before Haven was attacked and took his entire legion of templars to Therinfal Redoubt. Like the wardens, their motives were unclear, and all attempts at communications were met with silence. Well, we found their intentions soon enough when the templars invaded Haven.

"Ah, another puzzle," I laced my fingers under my chin. "I have sent agents to investigate their disappearance. We will find Lucius."

"And?"

"And, at least we have more of a lead than we have with the grey wardens," I said, with a bitter taste in my mouth.

"Leliana, get to the point!" She said curtly.

"Seeker Daniel has been spotted entering Caer Oswin. There have been other sightings as well."

Cassandra's face paled. "How many?" Her voice was no more than a whisper.

"We only chanced upon this revelation..."

"I see," she said and began pacing from left to right. "I'll need to talk to the Inquisitor as soon as he returns."

"Do you have further need of me, Cassandra?"

She regarded me a moment and wagged her head left to right. "No. Thank you for this, Leliana."

I inclined my head and turned towards the door. "I must get back to my duties. I wish you luck in your search, Cassandra."

I backed out of the room and shut the door. Such an entangling web I had found myself in. First, the wardens disappearance, and now, this same type of confusion surrounded the seekers. Was it a coincidence? In my world, there were no coincidences. My fingers absently traced the jagged scar that ran along my forearm—one of the many I had received during my stay in an Orlais dungeon, but this one always stood out. Corypheus had been behind the templar invasion… were the wardens a part of this? A sharp throbbing spread across my forehead, and I winced. My lack of sleep was finally catching up to me.

A screech tore through the corridor, and I froze. In a fluid motion, my hands shot inside my cloak, seeking the familiar leather and steel—that constant assurance of my blades. After all, they were an extension of myself, and deadly.

I whirled, and charged towards Cassandra, her voice still ringing with indignation and rage.


End file.
